Funny Redneck Sayings

If you are in need of some funny redneck sayings, you might want to start your search by learning exactly what a redneck is. The term "redneck" is a nickname given to miners who wore red bandanas during the 1921 Virginia mine war. Today, it stands for a poor, uneducated, white person that lives in rural areas, usually in the South. Here are some of those funny redneck sayings you wanted, as well as tips on knowing whether or not you are a redneck.

Funny Sayings About Rednecks

There are literally hundreds of redneck sayings out there, and most of them are funny. The following sayings are sorted into three groups: personal traits, dumb people, and redneck wisdom.

Personal Traits

  • I am as nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

  • I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

  • She's so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone!

  • He's about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand.

  • Well that just dills my pickle.

  • You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.

  • He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

  • He's busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin' contest.

  • She was so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.

  • He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

  • He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees!

  • You could start an argument in an empty house.

  • You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.

  • He'd gripe with a ham under each arm.

  • Why are you smilin' like a goat in a briar patch?

  • He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.

  • He's so rich; he buys a new boat each time one gets wet.

  • Well, don't you look prettier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of wheat cakes!

Dumb People

  • He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

  • If brains were leather, he wouldn't have enough to saddle a June bug.

  • The engine's runnin' but nobody's driving.

  • If his brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

  • He's so dumb; he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

  • That boy's two bricks shy of a full load.

  • I think that boy's about two sandwiches shy of a picnic.

  • I think he's one fry short of a Happy Meal.

Redneck Wisdom

  • If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!

  • If rabbits' feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

  • If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

  • It's colder than a mother-in-law's love.

  • Ain't no point in beatin' a dead horse…'course, can't hurt none either.

  • They're off like a herd of turtles.

  • Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

  • That's about as useful as a trap door on a canoe.

Are You a Redneck?

Well, you wanted funny redneck sayings and now you have some. Do you wonder if you are a redneck? The following may help you decide. You may be a redneck if:

  • You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

  • Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

  • You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

  • You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

  • The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

  • Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

  • Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

  • More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

  • You think possum is "The Other White Meat".

  • You have a rag for a gas cap.

  • You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

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